Sometimes it is hard to be a mom. It’s hard watch my child struggle to learn a new skill or simply listen to him cry. It’s hard to not whisk him up, wrap him in my arms and gently whisper ‘everything will be okay’. It’s hard to let him grow and learn on his own, but deep down I know I need to.
I know that it’s the hard things in life, the things we don’t think we can do, the things that make us struggle, that define us. It’s times and experiences like these that builds character. And I want him to have character.
I also want him to be secure. I want him to be confident. I want to instill independence, yet I want him to know I will always be there if he needs me. I want him to know he is loved unconditionally. I want him to know the value of hard work. I want him to know that when things get difficult, and inevitably they will, perseverance will get him through.
Over the last 8 months I have wondered if I have the necessary skills to be a good parent. Now, I wonder if my skin is thick enough and my heart strong enough to let him struggle to do things on his own? I know there will be times it will be me, not him, who will have to gain confidence to let him do those difficult things.
So, I will let him cry himself to sleep. I will let him feed himself and make a mess of it. I will let him fall down and get up again. I will let him struggle to learn new things. I will let him learn that people aren’t always nice and things don’t always turn out the way we want them to.
I will let him do these hard things, but will always be there to give encouragement, wipe tears and counsel him. It won’t be easy, but I can do it because I know these hard things will one day be good for him and we’ll both be stronger for it.
10 comments:
Sniff, sniff. It is hard sometimes! Okay, most of the time. :) I heard a quote--the goal of parenting is to get our kids ready to not need us. In the beginning we love our kids by protecting them--not so much as they get older.
you're a wonderful mother whit... he's a lucky boy!
can't wait to see the both of you! xx
Motherhood is hard. I really think it gets harder the older they get. Just different stages of their lives makes it more frustrating, yet those are also the times that make it more enjoyable.
But I do agree with you, we will become stronger. Thanks for that reminder.
Isn't that so true! I was just thinking about those same things this weekend. That will definitely be some of the hardest things we will ever do. Letting go and watching our children make mistakes, knowing that's the only way for them to grow and get their own convictions. I can't think of anything that is as heartwrenching and rewarding as parenting is.
Ya know, I've been kinda thinking about this stuff recently. I have friends that do everything for their children who are 6 and 3 and it's amazing to watch how the don't think they can do anything-put their shoes on, wipe themselves, climb a ladder. I love them, but by not letting their children figure things out on their own and learn how to accomplish different tasks, they are robbing their kids of developing self-confidence. It's when you can do something on your own that gives you the confidence that you can do more. I'm all about (of course when they get older not necessarily when they are babies) not doing things for them that they can do for themselves. It's only by falling that they will learn how not to fall. Let them go and what them grow!
I love being a Dad but its just brutally painful sometimes.
Whitney,
Your post says it all---you understand the tough parts already, only eight months in, and know what you need to do. You are doing a fabulous job!
By the way, I loved watching Carson stare lovingly at his daddy while he taught Sunday School yesterday, being held in his dear mommy's arms! :)
Patty
I hear you. I have a hard time too sometimes letting Becca and Rachel do things on their own. I know I need to let them...It really is incredible the things they already know, and can do at their ages isn't it?
Reading this, I can assure you that yes, you do have what it takes to be a great parent. My sentiments exactly. I believe in loving my children unconditionally, but also pushing them to be their best, and giving them the tools to be independent. It's a big job. Carson is a lucky boy.
LOVE it. Going thru the same kinds of things right now, having the same kinds of thoughts right now.
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